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Overcoming Ageism And Respecting Elders  

One of the fastest growing segments of population is that of the elderly. One report suggests that by 2050, there could more than 1 million people in the United States who are over 100 years of age or more. This phenomenon is not limited to the U.S. In Japan, the number of centenarians has quadrupled in the last 10 years. As medical technology advances, more of these seniors are living with a more positive outlook than ever before in history. Unfortunately, society itself is not embracing seniors or changing the stereotypes.

In many cultures, senior citizens are revered and honored. It would be unthinkable in India, China or Korea to put your elderly parents in a nursing home. On September 19, the Japanese get a public holiday known as “Respect for the Aged Day.” It’s a day devoted to the oldest citizens in the community. Native American elders are expected to pass down their wisdom and experience to the younger generation.

How Do You Treat Senior Citizens?

Stereotypes about senior citizens are plentiful. Here’s a few of the most common:

• Older people are afraid of technology.
• Seniors are forgetful and boring.
• They’re grumpy and cantankerous.
• They are a burden and unproductive.
• It’s better for them to live in an institution.
• Seniors don’t care about sex and intimacy.
• Older people are lonely and isolated.

The list could go on, and there are some seniors who are grumpy, lonely or even forgetful. That’s not to say every senior citizen is that way. And while technology is changing and it can be difficult for younger people to keep up with it, many seniors embrace the changes in how we reach out to others and want to learn. The Kindle has made reading more accessible for many seniors who need large print editions of books. Facetime and Skype make keeping up with grandkids who are far away much easier.

What’s your attitude toward the seniors in your community? Do you assume that they don’t want to learn new technologies? Do you think they aren’t worthy of the services available to them? Maybe you believe your mom or dad would be happier living in a home or with you instead of on their own? Have you ever passed on a job applicant because they were much older? Telling jokes about dementia or old age, or calling grandpa an old geezer disparages the very ones we love.

These are signs of ageism, a discrimination against those who are older. If your perception of older people is more universal than individual, you might be guilty of ageism. When this happens, senior citizens lose their sense of power and don’t get their needs met. It creates a disadvantage not only for the elderly, but for their families. And don’t forget, every young person may someday be one of those older people who want to be treated with respect and dignity.

Negative stereotypes about age contribute to isolation and poor health. The mistreatment of seniors is a growing problem in America, not only physical abuse but also financial and emotional abuse are big problems for the elderly. These problems affect everyone, from the individual to the caregivers to the community. Caregivers who spend time taking care of abused adults are not as productive in their own work. The community must allocate resources to help seniors in distress. Seniors who are not productive on their own must rely on government services.

It’s time to think about the attitudes we have toward elderly people. Don’t just take one day to honor the older members in your family. Find ways to be more positive and less stereotypical about age. Talk to the seniors in your life to find out what they really want to do as they age.

5 Ways to Plan Your Wedding for Under $5,000

In 2015, the average cost of a wedding was more than $30,000. To put this number in perspective, imagine putting a down payment on a house or buying yourself and your partner each a new car. Spending so much money on a single day seems a bit silly when you can put the money toward more important and permanent aspects of your life. This is why so many people are choosing to go non-traditional and save money on their big day. In fact, if you are strategic about it, you can have a beautiful wedding day for less than $5,000.

Think Outside the Venue and Reception Box

Who says you need to throw down a huge hunk of change on a ceremony and reception venue? Plenty of places offer rentals for much more affordable prices. If you and your partner love the idea of getting married and celebrating in nature, look into national parks in your area. Many allow wedding ceremonies and receptions for a very small fee. Some even provide space for the bride and groom to get ready or an area for someone to prepare food for the reception. If you’re the type who prefers to stay indoors, look into local bowling alleys, arcades or other fun and casual entertainment venues. They are often much more affordable, and your guests will likely enjoy the relaxed environment.

Go to the Thrift Store

Thrift stores and other secondhand shops are overlooked gems when it comes to nearly any type of wedding. Instead of serving your reception meal on expensive fine china—even if you rent it, you risk paying extra if something breaks—simply purchase a range of beautiful plates from your city’s thrift stores. The mismatched but vintage pieces will add a shabby chic feel to your wedding reception. Consider purchasing other items from secondhand shops as well.

• Fake flowers
• Silverware
• Glasses
• Other décor
• Shoes
• Vintage wedding dresses
• Vintage suits
• Vintage bridesmaid dresses
• Jewelry

Consider Hiring Students

You don’t have to hire the most sought-after photographer, videographer, DJ or band in the state for your wedding. Doing so not only costs a ton of money, but could even leave you with music or pictures you don’t like because you based your choice on popularity rather than personal taste. Instead, talk to colleges in your area. Sometimes the music or photography students perform or provide services for a discounted price. You’ll help them to build their portfolio while saving hundreds or even thousands of dollars in the process.

Skip the Fancy Cake

A four-tiered gourmet cake may look beautiful and taste delicious, but it’s also going to cost quite a lot of money for something that will disappear within a few minutes of being cut. Save money by going for a more traditional cake. Buy one or several sheet cakes and decorate them with flowers and wedding messages. They’ll taste just as good and still provide happy memories, but they won’t break your wedding budget in the process. You may also consider serving pie, cupcakes and other smaller desserts that are yummy but more affordable. If you absolutely must have a professional cake, get a very small one for you and your partner to share after the reception.

Choose Your Wedding Date Wisely

One of the easiest ways to jack up the price of your wedding is to get married in June or near any major holiday. To save the most money possible, get married in January. Not only is it not as near a major holiday, but because most couples do not want to get married during the winter, most venues and vendors have deeply discounted packages available to those who do. You may be able to pull off your dream wedding for a small fraction of the price.

As you plan your wedding, remember the day is about a special emotional connection between you and your partner. There is no rule that says you need to spend thousands of dollars on fancy meals and décor just to please your guests. The day is about your love and your interests.

Proper Etiquette for a Guest at a Baptism

If you have been invited to someone’s baptism, you should feel very special. Dedicating his or her life to God is a very personal moment in anyone’s life, and that your friend or family member would want to share it with you is very telling in how important you are to that person. If you have never attended a baptism ceremony before, you may be feeling a bit confused or overwhelmed about what to expect. Follow this etiquette guide to help you ease your mind on the big day.

What to Wear to a Baptism

The first thing that came to your mind upon being invited to the baptism was probably what you would wear to such an event. Simply put, just wear your Sunday best. You don’t have to dress up in anything too fancy, but you should make an effort to dress nicely because the event is a serious one that takes place in a church.

• Men: Wear dress shirts, ties, nice pants and nice shoes. There is no need to wear a full suit unless you want to, but avoid jeans and t-shirts if possible.
• Women: Wear a dress or opt for a nice shirt paired with a skirt or pants. Don’t wear anything too revealing.
• Children: Children can get away with more casual clothing but should still be clean and well-groomed. Avoid jeans if you can.

What to Bring to a Baptism

Typically, all you need to bring to a baptism is yourself. In some cases, such as if the baptism is for a baby, you may be expected to bring a gift. If this is the case, the gift should be something elegant or something that is useful for the baby. However, if you already gave a gift at the baby shower, you may skip giving one at the baptism. Some people choose to bring cash gifts, gift cards or some other kind of monetary gift for children and adults who are being baptized. Religious gifts may also be appreciated, but keep in mind that nearly anyone being baptized already has at least one copy of the Bible. Consider religious jewelry or art if you want to give a faith-inspired gift. If you do decide to bring a gift, do not present it at the baptism itself, instead do so at the reception after.

What to Expect During the Ceremony

A baptism is pretty straightforward regardless of who is being baptized. Arrive about 10 minutes early to ensure you get a seat. The ceremony will begin with a welcoming message, usually followed by prayers or hymns. There may be a message about the meaning of baptism from the bishop or priest before the baptism takes place. After, someone will say some closing words. In many cases, refreshments or a full reception will follow the ceremony.

What Not to Do at a Baptism

Just like any other important event or ceremony, always act respectfully. Do your best to show up on time, but if you are late for some reason, enter from the back or side as quietly as possible. Religion is a serious and controversial subject. If you find yourself invited to a baptism or other religious ceremony that you disagree with, you must make a decision to either show up, be polite and express congratulations or to politely decline the invitation. Under no circumstances should you attend the baptism only to say negative things about it before, during or after.

Above all else, remember that a baptism is special to the person being baptized. Regardless of how you feel about the matter or whether you attend, you should acknowledge the invitation and congratulate the person because he or she thought enough of you to ask you to be part of such a major event.